Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Roses are red, Violets are blue, let's improve a relationship for two.






Do you ever feel like you are a hamster running on a constant wheel of never ending duties? Sometimes being on that wheel doesn't leave us much time to dedicate to our significant other as we would like.  Well, here are some helpful hints to improve your relationship.

Re-charge Yourself: Make sure that you are recharged as a person by instituting some self-care.  What I mean by this is spending a few minutes each day doing something that you enjoy.  That could mean a hobby, spending times with friends, reading a good book or listening to a good talk.  I promise you that other things can wait!  By taking some time alone, you can regroup and bounce back with a fresh look on life.

Build Your Relationship: Something else that helps is to build your relationship with your spouse. Something simple is to have a conversation with your partner every night.  One of my stepmom friends does this with her husband nightly.  To help, she purchased the book,  "Our Q&A a Day: 3-year Journal for 2 people".  There is a simple question for each day that they both answer.  As they answer the questions over a three-year period they check to see how they have changed and improved.  Another helpful hint is at the end of the day is for each of you to have a personal journal that you write your struggles and accomplishments in and how you felt about the day.  At the end of the week, swap journals and read them and discuss with each other about your week.

Plan Date Nights:  Since we have a blended family we set aside one night every other week when we go on a date.   Take turns planning the date and be adventurous.  I have often heard the couple that plays together stays together.  Starting a fun hobby together can also help you to connect better as a couple.  We have decided that we enjoy hiking together.  By hiking we are getting exercise, talking and enjoying the beauty of nature.

Give Compliments: Look for things that are positive in your spouse and compliment them.  By trying to focus on the positive instead of the negative, you are able to see them in a different light.

Use Humor: We often find when things get really difficult, if we can also use a little humor it makes the situation more bearable.  By doing this, you may be setting a good example for your spouse to follow.

A relationship is always changing!  There are so many challenges, especially if you find yourself in a blended family.  Don't give up, keep working hard with this person that you once upon a time fell in love with.  Your relationship is worth it!