In Dr. Patricia Papernow's article, "Patterns of Development in Stepfamilies", she discusses different stages that the stepfamily may encounter. The Stepfamily Life cycle is broken down into Early, Middle and Late cycles.
The Early stages (1-2 yrs)
Fantasy-we live happily ever after as a nuclear family.
Immersion-facing realities, feelings of jealousy and confusion.
Awareness- A better understanding of the different relationships.
The Middle Stages (2-3 yrs)
Mobilization-upheaval and complaints shared.
Action-Finding boundaries, laying groundwork.
The Late Stages (5 yr mark)
Contact - stepfamily gets into a groove; relationships build.
Resolution- Endured prior stages, different opinion-not as threatening.
In our blended family, I don't feel like it is so cut and dried as it states above. I have viewed our family in all the different stages and still after ten years, we still continue to be circulating through those different stages. Unfortunately just because you meet a five year mark, everything doesn't always run smoothly. It does help that some of the different personalities have gotten used to each other. Since I am somewhat of a romantic, I think I have viewed our blended family more in the fantasy stage. But I have come to realize that we are not a nuclear family.
Being in a blended family has been such a learning process for me and has been very difficult for me at times. We are a bunch of different personalities that come together to have fun. We share common interests such as Disneyland, holidays traditions and Costco (but don't tell anyone that I really love Costco:) and believe it or not those interests are what unite us as a blended bunch.
