How to Help Kids in Blended Families Transition Between Homes

It can be difficult for the kids to go between two houses.   There are several things that can be done to help make the transition easier.  

*   It is important that they each have their own rooms.  That way they have their own space to retreat to so they can adjust back to the different family environment.  

*  Have pictures of everyone in the family hanging around the house.  

*  Have a family meeting once a week where expectations and responsibilities are set.

 *  Set up individual dates with each of the kids so they understand how important they are to the family.  That way they are able to maintain a relationship with their biological parent and establish one with their stepparent.  

*  Always keep the lines of communication open with all of the kids so they get use to talking about things that concern them.

*  Always be consistent in the family routine so they know what to expect.  

How do you help the kids that permanently live in the home adapt to their other siblings coming and going?

It can be hard for these children because they may be close to their siblings.  Younger children may not understand why they are leaving and older children may be sad to see them go.  Here are several things you can do to help them.

*   Set up a calendar and highlight the times their siblings will be there.  That way they are able to mark off the days until they get back to their house.  

*   If you own an ipod have them text their siblings when they are not at the house to keep in contact.  

*  Since it can be difficult for them, have a certain special activity that they do during those times.  That way they are doing something they enjoy and are distracted.  

Transitioning from home to home takes time.  Try to be patient and flexible.  By giving them their space it helps them to transition easier.  

Do You Have Courage?

The other day I was reading a touching post on facebook from a friend of mine.  She is also in a blended family.  Her stepson had entered the hospital and she had gone along with her husband to support him.  In the sweet picture she posted of her stepson she stated that he has his mother's love and his father's support.  Not once did she mention anything about herself.  What a great example of unconditional love she displayed.  She merely had the courage to support.  Sometimes as a stepparent you feel like a third wheel.  You are not sure where you belong and you definitely don't want to step on toes.  Being in a blended family is about providing each child with a healthy environment despite the dynamics that may be involved.  Even though you may feel like a third wheel, you must have the courage to take the higher road, not saying everything that you would want to say, and just try to find peace amongst the turmoil that surrounds you.  I believe that this sweet lady may have had all kinds of emotions and realized that she couldn't control the situation so she just needed to find peace with what she was dealt.   Since that post I have reflected on how I might be able to be courageous amongst the turmoil that surrounds me.  Several things have stood out to me:

1.  You may not have control of much, but you have control of you.  For example, you can control how you perceive things.  Some ways of doing this may be to use positive self talk and to understand God knows all things, and leave it in his hands. 

2.  Don't set yourself up for failure by having certain expectations.  Just try to be happy with the times spent together and the memories that have been created. 

3.  Be gentle on yourself and others.  We all have our story full of some easy and difficult things.  Just believe in who you are.  A quote from Jeffry H. Larson sums it up, " God loves because of who you are, not because of what you did or didn't do.

In conclusion, there are those who show courage through leading the battle from the front and there are those who show silent courage by supporting from the back.  My friend showed me the example of silent courage.