With the new year upon us and with much reflection, I realized that I am guilty of holding a grudge. There - I said it! What I have learned is holding a grudge, feeding it, talking to it and reflecting on it hurts ME and not anyone else. To eliminate the torture and anguish that is caused by holding grudges, it is truly best to just forgive. Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. Yes it is easy to say that I will forgive but sometimes it is hard to put that into action. I have also found that the most important person to forgive is myself.
Melody Beattie says it best in her book, Codependent No More. "Forgiveness causes us to be comfortable with our circumstances and the changes we have endured, but we believe we have in some way benefitted from our loss or change even if we cannot fully understand how or why. We have faith that all is well, and we have grown from our experience.... And we know it is only from this point that we can go forward.” Forgiveness helps us to grow and learn from our experience. I believe by forgiving we can grow in a positive way and become a better person.
This also hit home in the movie Collateral Beauty. The thing that impressed me the most is Will Smith plays a man who loses his daughter and is angry and unwilling to move forward because he is holding a grudge. He notices all the negative things that come from his loss and refuses to see the beauty that surrounds him.
I have been through my share of difficult times just like everybody else, but what helps me is to realize there are many things to be grateful for. I want to reflect on all the positive things in my life, unload that heavy begrudging burden and shine.