Ten years ago, I never thought that I would get divorced, remarried, and become a stepmom. I had read about wicked stepmoms in fairy tales and I didn’t want that label. It’s a hard one to go up against. I really want to make a difference in my stepkids lives for the better.
I feel like I’ve walked into an action-packed movie. The intensity at its peak and I'm a main character, but I don't know my lines or how to play my role. How did I get to this point? Well, it all began with the D word…
I was always a planner. My goal from the time I was a girl was to meet someone, fall in love, get married in the temple and live happily ever after. When I was twenty, I met a man who treated me well. We seemed like best friends and could talk about anything. We were married in the temple, but over time something was missing in our relationship. After college, two kids and thirteen years later we were not connected. There was that D word - divorce was on the horizon. Words can't describe how my heart ached…
Where had I failed? I attended church all my life and lived a good life. I had married in the temple. But where was my happy ending? How could I find peace at this time in my life?
My answer was the temple and the healing power of Christ. Before this trial hit, I had never felt such an overwhelming love from my Savior. There were times I just wanted to close my eyes, like being on a roller coaster, and hold my breath until the ride came to a stop. I couldn't do that because I had two children that needed me. I realized Heavenly Father was my anchor. This was the beginning of the healing process.
Being divorced and single again is hard to explain unless you’ve been there. Dating is strange – it’s not the same as when you are younger. I started the dating experience again - single's parties, online dating and being set up. This was a difficult time, but I knew I should not settle for just anyone. I thought it might be easier to date someone with no children until I got the impression, “what’s wrong with helping someone else with their kids?” One day soon after, he was right there in front of me on my PC! I saw his face and knew he was the one I was to marry. I said, “He has five kids - you must be kidding!” I was used to dating men without children, so I didn't call him up and tell him I knew it was meant to be. I did just opposite and ran! I didn’t think I could handle that many kids, especially teenagers. I was intimidated, but that sweet guy, my future husband, won my heart. However, the minute that beautiful engagement ring hit my finger the roller coaster ride sped up, and I had to tighten my seatbelt! This is not a ride for the faint of heart – it’s about being a mom and stepmom.
Over the last 4 1/2 years we’ve endured so many different situations, like blending our families, dealing with teenagers, becoming grandparents, working with ex-spouses and having a baby. In the beginning, I woke up every day with anxiety not knowing what to expect. Being in a blended family is like managing a small corporation and making sure all the puzzle pieces fit together.
Really enjoyed your thoughts Maryann. I'm glad that you are happy and that you are such a good person. Your husbands family is so lucky to have someone like you in their life. Also that picture of you is absolutely gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteBrittney