A Mother's Love

I remember the first time I held my babies in my arms, I was amazed that God would entrust me with such sweet little spirits.  There has been nothing that I wanted more in life than to be a mother.  Being a mother is the hardest job, but is the noblest of them all.  As a mom you shape generations to come.

I remember writing in their baby book: "Dear precious child;  I am so fortunate to have you as my child.  I have waited for a long time.  I love you so much.  It was the neatest feeling to hear your first cry.  I never thought I could love someone so much, but I love you more than words can tell.  I am excited to share my life with you and to be your friend.  I am always there for you no matter what and I love you very much.  Love your Mom"

Fast forward many years and I have watched my oldest two children grow up.  Life has dealt me a different hand.  I have been through a divorce.  A divorce is a very difficult thing to go through for the kids though their dad and I have tried to make it as smooth as possible for them.  Doing that, I have walked in silence feeling as though there is a huge hole in my heart.  What comes with divorce is sharing your kids and not having them around all the time.  I'm sure alot of people would say that would be awesome to have a break from their kids.  Well for me it is not.  When I drop them off I have constant anxiety and I miss them.  I miss talking to them about how their day went, I miss their smiles and their hugs.  I know that seems silly and it's only for a short time, but my love for them is so deep and my tie is so strong that sometimes it is unbearable.  It has been ten years since their father and I got divorced.  The pain has not lessened over the years.

You may ask what have I learned from this?  I have learned to savor every moment with your children.  Watch that movie that they want to watch, cook with them, talk to them about things that concern them and just spend time with them.  Before I know it they will be all grown up and leading their own lives.